My First Article

Hello all. WEll, I mentioned it before and now my years of hard work have finally come to fruition. And by years, I mean days. And by fruition.... I don't really know what I mean. My article has been published in the University of Alberta Newspaper, the Gateway. Long known as a bastion of the left wing, I have succesfully infiltrated it's ranks in order to take the first steps toward my ultimate plan: the complete, world wide re-introduction of the 8-track tape. We have lost so much in giving up this simple, nostalgic device and it's time to take back the innocence and wonder that is ours in the 8-track. Few people know this, but the eight tracks that the name '8-track' refers to are as follows 1)love 2) peace 3) hostess cup cakes 4) awesomeness 5) Stove Top stuffing stuffed donuts 6) gentle mockery 7) less gentle mockery, and finally 8) out right cynicism. That's right, the '8-track' was really a means of subverting the general music loving populace into outright cynicism through a subliminal 8 step process that was influenced by the 8-track tape itself. It's too complicated to get into now, but trust me. It was ingenious. So in conclusion, read my article at http://www.gateway.ualberta.ca/view.php?aid=3900.

P.S. Ironically, my exortation to more socially conservative individuals to read the newspaper was immediately followed by an issue which featured the annual "Purity Test", where people are quized on their level of sexual impurity. How Ironical.