A taste of eternal damnation

I've just spent the last 7 hours working on a freaking lab and my results are all screwed up so I have to basically start over. It's a lab where we have to design a simple water distribution system. Just be thankful that the water lines in your community weren't designed by me. Man, why do I go to school again? I know there is huge demand for tradespeople right now. I think I could be a pretty good welder, or carpenter. Yeah, I'd be a great carpenter. My extraordinary Christ-likeness would almost certainly extend to carpentry, as it does to every other area of my life. Anyone laughing out there better shut their face before I pray for an anvil to fall from the sky on your noggin. Name it and claim baby! Man, I think this stupid lab has driven me to insanity. I feel as though I have been been raked through the coals. Coals that are made of poorly burned crap. like when the Indians used to burn buffalo chips. That would be sweet. You know, that makes me think, if you're a dung beetle, I bet the worst thing anyone could do would be to set fire to the piece of dung you happen to be pushing around. What the crap! someone just set fire to my piece of dung! now how will I feed my family? But just then, when the jerk who set fire to your dung is walking away and laughing, a bird swoops out of the sky and craps all over you. For a dung beetle I bet that's like winning the lottery. He'd probably just start basking in the warm glowing glow of free crap, then scoop up as much as he could and run home to his waiting family. That almost brings a tear to my eye. Perhaps you have your own exciting crap story. Some time when the world was getting you down, but a fortunate event brought free crap into your life. Anyone have any stories about that? If so, take my advice, don't tell anyone. Seriously, if you were ever happy about getting crap on your shoe, or in your hair, or up your nose - your a freak. If this is true of you, you should probably start practising a fake personality right now, because you'll need it. Having a fake personality isn't that bad, take it from me. So anyway, heed my words. Don't design water distribution systems' don't take dung beetles for granted (and for goodness sake, don't burn their precious dung), and don't be afraid of being a little bit fake. Especially if your a crap loving freak.